OZblog

If the truth makes you sick, take an anti-nausea medication before you dare read this!

Thursday, December 29

What's Up With FauxNews' Gay Liberal Analysts?

[Imaginary FauxNews executive meeting. Perhaps not 100% accurate, but very likely completely accurate]

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #1: We have a problem. In order to maintain the illusion of being 'fair & balanced,' we have to keep having liberal [snarled, as if saying 'satanic, child molesting canibal'] guests on our shows. But, they are increasigly coming across as reasonable, and scoring some points.

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #2: You mean, interrupting them, badgering them, and insulting them is not sufficient?

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #1: No, unfortunately. They are saying things that, frankly, make sense to Americans. How can we stop this?

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #3: How 'bout bringing in some 'street people' to represent the left? I'm not talking Vietnam Vet here, I'm talking about drooling, crazy winos with missing teeth?

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #1: No, the liberal [snarled again] media would be all over that. It would be too obvious, not subtle enough. They'd expose us as the frauds we are.

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #4: How about having gays?

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #2: But, we already do that. Whenever we discuss a topic like gay marriage or NAMBLA, we bring in some poofter from San Fransisco to balance our well-respected evangelical preacher from a red state.

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #4: No, I'm talking about for EVERY subject? We discuss Iraq, have a gay liberal. We discuss illegal wiretappings, bring in a gay to oppose it. We discuss agriculture, trot out a Sodomite to take the left's side.

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #1: My God, that is brilliant!

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #4: Yea, our target audience will have an immediate emotional, gut-wrenching revulsion to the Sodomite, and won't listen to a word he says! Then, no matter what form of nonsense the GOP talking points are for the day, our rightie will be the only one they will listen to.

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #2: It will have the added benefit of being something those liberal a$$holes can't complain about! They can't say we are unfair to the left because we have some flamer representing their side!

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #3: They don't even have to really be gay. Just effeminate, or even metrosexual will do. The audience will HATE 'em, even before they hear what they are saying!

Straight, white, GOP Fox Exec #1: That's it, then. And, Smithers, for that idea, I think we need to discuss your raise. And, I'm nominating you for FauxNews Employee of the Month!



Ok, maybe it is just my imagination, or coincidence, or maybe last night was not representative, but I watched The O'Reilly Factor last night, and it seemed that most of their 'left' guests were gay or gayish. I don't watch the show that often, but last night Vibrator Bill was not on, and he had a pinch-hitter, so I figured I could watch a few minutes of the show without needing medicinal marijuana to curb the nausea that hits when Vibrator Bill is on.

So, one guy discussing immigration issues appeared gayish. Then, a guy discusing the Canadian Boxing Day street shooting was not only at least Metrosexual, but he had an Arabic name AND he was from Canada. They hit the trifecta with that guy--no one watching from their target audience would listen to a thing that poor guy said.

So, I started wondering if FauxNews was bringing in gays as their lefty punching bags on purpose? If so, it is brilliant, as no Joe Sixpack red-stater is going to accept anything that comes out of their mouths.

Has anyone else noticed this? Or, was this just a one-time coincidence?