Why is US paying for Iraq

People often come up to me and say 'OZ, why is the US paying all of the costs of invading Iraq, instad of having Iraq pay?'

That is an excellent question.

Since the 1st reason we were given for invading Iraq, to save America from imminent annihilation by Iraq's WMDs [paraphrased] didn't pan out, we went to Reason B.

Reason B: We invaded Iraq because this was part of the War Against Terrorists. Then, when it turned out that Bush had managed to invade the only nation in the entire Middle East without an al Qaeda presence, we then got Reason C.

Reason C was that we removed a nasty dictator, killed his 2 malevolent sons, and liberated the wonderful people of Iraq. Then, the wonderful people of Iraq picked up RPGs and started making IEDs and began killing as many of their 'liberators' as they could. Then came Reason D.

Reason D is easily remembered. D stands for Dumbassery, or Dumb for short. Reason D said that we picked a neutral country to fight the terrorists in, blew the bejesus out of it, left the borders [and ammo dumps] unguarded, and let the terrorists come to us, because 'it is better to fight them over there than over here.' [GWB, standard stump speech line].

We could have charged the Iraqi people for our pest-removal services if we had stuck by Reason C, but when Bush started excusing the invasion with Reason D, it kinda blew our chances of collecting from the wonderful, liberated Iraqis when they started getting blown to bits instead of us. After all, we chose to play an away game, and it isn't really fair to charge the home team for the costs of destroying their stadium, is it?