Happy Holidays
Now is the time of year that we hear the most inane of all salutations: Happy Holidays.
Have a more vapid, meaningless two words ever been manacled together?
The insanity seems to have started from a recognition that the archaic Merry Christmas is not universally accepted. Someone could be offended, you know. Wouldn't want to do that....wouldn't be prudent!
It is on TV commercials, particularly from those companies that sell a lot of gift-type items in the 30 day shopping spree America goes on starting today. What, do they think I am going to leave holiday presents under the holiday tree for my loved ones? When I buy a Santa doll, or The Story of Christmas book, does the checkout clerk really have no idea what religion I am when they wish me 'Happy Holidays!'?
It is hard to imagine being offended by that well-intentioned achronism. Is a Jew going to fly off the handle if you say Merry Christmas to him? Would a Muslim be offended by a Happy Kwanzaa offered by a friend? Suppose a Jew said Happy Hanukkah to a Bhuddist--would there be bloodshed?
Remember Christmas cards? How 20th Century! At first it was the greeting cards we got at the office that said Happy Holidays, as if our business associates were anxious to wish us a great 2 days off in December. Funny, no one sends Happy 4th of July cards when I have a 2-day holiday, or Happy Thanksgiving cars when I had yesterday and today off. Or maybe they just want us to remember them when hiring outside vendors for the following year. No, that can't be it--they would send us a Happy New Year! card, which would actually get us thinking about the coming year, and to remind us where to get our pens and private investigator services when the contracts run out, if that was their intent.
Then, it escalated: I started getting cards from friends that said Happy Holidays! Hey, you know me! You know my faith, and my offence-tolerence, for goodness sakes! Some had then written 'Merry Christmas' by hand, as if to acknowledge my faith, or maybe just to to acknowledge they know who they are sending it to. Whew! At least there is some recognition that you actually thought about what you were sending me. Why don't I get birthday cards from most of these same people? After all, that's MY day, and if you are so afraid of upsetting me by wishing me a greeting of the wrong winter festival, then send me a bloody birthday card!
It sounds like Happy Holidays was thought-up by an atheist who was desperate for something to say to his friends in December, and for some reason found a wish for a great new year to be woefully insufficient. But, the inventer did not stop to realise that it is vaguely insulting, in a mild way: the person wishing it to me could not be bothered with finding out my winter celebratory preference.
If you know someone who is of a different faith than you, why not wish them a happy or merry celebration of whatever they will be celebrating? Happy Hanukkah, Irving! Happy Kwanzaa, LaShinequa! Merry Christmas, Mark. And wish that Wiccan over in accounting a great Winter Solstice! Heck, I bet they will be happy that you at least care enough to wish them a good holdiay of their choice. It would be personal, not a seasonal Have A Nice Day. Don't know what someone's holiday preference is? Heck, either ask or wish them a good whatever you are celebrating, and if you get the wrong one, maybe they will tell you something about them that you did not already know.
But, PLEASE, don't wish me a Happy Holiday! I'm off for a week--of course I'll be happy, you idiot!
At least Bah, Humbug! is universally accepted!
Have a more vapid, meaningless two words ever been manacled together?
The insanity seems to have started from a recognition that the archaic Merry Christmas is not universally accepted. Someone could be offended, you know. Wouldn't want to do that....wouldn't be prudent!
It is on TV commercials, particularly from those companies that sell a lot of gift-type items in the 30 day shopping spree America goes on starting today. What, do they think I am going to leave holiday presents under the holiday tree for my loved ones? When I buy a Santa doll, or The Story of Christmas book, does the checkout clerk really have no idea what religion I am when they wish me 'Happy Holidays!'?
It is hard to imagine being offended by that well-intentioned achronism. Is a Jew going to fly off the handle if you say Merry Christmas to him? Would a Muslim be offended by a Happy Kwanzaa offered by a friend? Suppose a Jew said Happy Hanukkah to a Bhuddist--would there be bloodshed?
Remember Christmas cards? How 20th Century! At first it was the greeting cards we got at the office that said Happy Holidays, as if our business associates were anxious to wish us a great 2 days off in December. Funny, no one sends Happy 4th of July cards when I have a 2-day holiday, or Happy Thanksgiving cars when I had yesterday and today off. Or maybe they just want us to remember them when hiring outside vendors for the following year. No, that can't be it--they would send us a Happy New Year! card, which would actually get us thinking about the coming year, and to remind us where to get our pens and private investigator services when the contracts run out, if that was their intent.
Then, it escalated: I started getting cards from friends that said Happy Holidays! Hey, you know me! You know my faith, and my offence-tolerence, for goodness sakes! Some had then written 'Merry Christmas' by hand, as if to acknowledge my faith, or maybe just to to acknowledge they know who they are sending it to. Whew! At least there is some recognition that you actually thought about what you were sending me. Why don't I get birthday cards from most of these same people? After all, that's MY day, and if you are so afraid of upsetting me by wishing me a greeting of the wrong winter festival, then send me a bloody birthday card!
It sounds like Happy Holidays was thought-up by an atheist who was desperate for something to say to his friends in December, and for some reason found a wish for a great new year to be woefully insufficient. But, the inventer did not stop to realise that it is vaguely insulting, in a mild way: the person wishing it to me could not be bothered with finding out my winter celebratory preference.
If you know someone who is of a different faith than you, why not wish them a happy or merry celebration of whatever they will be celebrating? Happy Hanukkah, Irving! Happy Kwanzaa, LaShinequa! Merry Christmas, Mark. And wish that Wiccan over in accounting a great Winter Solstice! Heck, I bet they will be happy that you at least care enough to wish them a good holdiay of their choice. It would be personal, not a seasonal Have A Nice Day. Don't know what someone's holiday preference is? Heck, either ask or wish them a good whatever you are celebrating, and if you get the wrong one, maybe they will tell you something about them that you did not already know.
But, PLEASE, don't wish me a Happy Holiday! I'm off for a week--of course I'll be happy, you idiot!
At least Bah, Humbug! is universally accepted!
posted by American Bad OZ @ 11/26/2004 06:43:00 PM
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